The inane Parents Television Council announced, in its annual “Faith in a Box” analysis of religion on teevee, that Fox was “by far the most anti-religious network” when it comes to prime-time broadcasting. Some of their reasons are unsurprising … they seem to be particular pissed off at Family Guy and The Simpsons. But they also cited an episode of House, which also airs on Fox, where … well, I’ll let them tell it. “House tells a religious patient that the patient is either psychotic or a scam artist for believing that God speaks to him.” (They gave a “mixed” rating to a particular scene in that episode, where House says of the patient, who has an STD, “Yeah, the hand of God reached into the kid’s pants and made him have sex…he’s just another liar and manipulator.” “Mixed,” because one of House’s colleagues gives House the business for saying this.)
I suppose there’s no accounting for taste. The PTC quite accurately describes the titular character as follows:
Dr. House is a genius but also an eccentric and a borderline misanthropist. He’s has been in severe pain for years and has become addicted to Vicodin. In addition, his pain has made him cantankerous and resentful. His social manners are questionable and House shows almost zero tolerance to those patients who complain about trivial issues, lie to skip work, or claim to have a disease not recognized as such by traditional medicine. House is a scientist more interested in diseases than in people …
Thing is, they seem to think this makes House a bad show, while I’d argue it’s the only thing that makes House worth watching.
This stuff got my attention, and I wanted to see what the PTC thought of other shows I like, but sadly, they apparently deal only with broadcast shows … no HBO, no Sci-Fi, no FX … and I don’t watch many of those. (They even complain about Ugly Betty for having too much sexual content … c’mon, that scene of Salma Hayek in her bra only lasted a few seconds … oh, that’s not what they mean … “In one scene Betty offers to sell diet pills to resident homosexual Marc and he replies, ‘Unless it’s Taye Diggs covered in baby oil I’m not interested.’”)
Oh wait, stop the presses! I just found the part of the PTC website where they complain about cable! Let’s go straight to the good stuff … I wonder what they think of The Shield? (Don’t give me your pay-cable networks … not even Dexter, where the titular hero is a serial killer, is as brutally disgusting as Vic Mackey and friends.)
Paydirt! It’s a funny thing about idiots like the PTC … they extract the good stuff from shows they disapprove of, and, thus removing the context which might offer insight into the world, turn everything into pornography, porn that you can access via the PTC, of course. Best part is, in some cases, the PTC helpfully includes links to video clips of the offending sequences!
You gotta love the dialogue they quote, like this exchange between Vic and a jailed bad guy … Vic’s offering to cut a deal with the bad guys. Vic: "Last chance for any of you cupcakes if you ever wanna smell pussy again." Bad guy inside cell: "I can smell yours from here bitch."
Then there’s the episode summaries:
Tio was the victim of a tire necklace. His dead, badly burned body is shown lying on the ground. Members of Armadillo's gang poured gasoline on the tire and set it on fire. Vic under his breadth says, “Fuck” when he sees Tio’s dead body.
In the final scene, Vic beats Armadillo with a book. Blood splatters on Vic's shirt. He is also shown kicking Armadillo in the stomach, causing Armadillo to spit up blood and teeth. Vic drags him into the kitchen and pushes Armadillo's face onto the burner of an electric stove. The side of Armadillo's face is shown with the burns on it; his mouth is full of blood and Vic's face is also covered with Armadillo's blood.
And one more example of offensive dialogue. Tomas is accusing his lover, Julian, of climbing back in the closet. “You can't even admit who you are! Your dick in my ass means you're gay. My dick in your mouth means you're really gay.”
Thank you, PTC, for providing my morning entertainment!