geezer cinema: godzilla x kong: the new empire (adam wingard, 2024)

The first movie in the Monsterverse, Gareth Edwards' 2014 Godzilla, makes a case for being the best Godzilla movie of all time. At the least, it's the best one made in America. Next was Kong: Skull Island, an entertaining film. Godzilla: King of the Monsters, was a further step downwards, while I liked Godzilla vs. Kong.

Then the Japanese upped the ante with Godzilla Minus One, which is the best Japanese Godzilla movie ever, in part because you actually cared about the human characters. I thought it was one of the ten best movies of the year, and it even won an Oscar.

This is the context within which Godzilla x Kong was released, and the comparison isn't kind. It's nowhere near as good as Minus One or the 2014 version. It's nowhere near as good as Skull Island or Godzilla vs. Kong. I'm not even sure it's as good as King of the Monsters. The human actors do what they can (Brian Tyree Henry can do no wrong, but once again, he's used as comic relief), but the monster fights, as impressive as they are, are ultimately boring. Impressive doesn't mean good. When monsters fight in Godzilla x Kong, you marvel at what can be done with movies today, but you don't give a shit about the monsters doing the fighting. The worst is a little junior Kong, who is predictably annoying ... never trust a monster movie with a precocious kid monster.

Meanwhile, the dialogue is endless and uninteresting, stopping in a couple of spots for egregious exposition overload that stops everything in its tracks. I'd say Godzilla x Kong is disappointing, and if your hopes were raised by the likes of Minus One, you will feel bad. But what Godzilla x Kong (the x is silent) really does is fulfill any expectations you might have for a movie with such a dull title.