the queen (stephen frears, 2006)

Wow, am I the wrong audience for this movie! I couldn’t tell you if it was good or bad … I can tell you Helen Mirren was terrific, as always, even absent the sexiness that drives me crazy with lust. But beyond that, my own gargantuan prejudices prevent me from making any sensible evaluation of the film.

Some parts were instructive, at least if they were accurate, and it helped to have Robin at my side, since she knows stuff about royalty. I am v.naive about that … they’d show the Queen in bed, and I’d think “the Queen gets to sleep?” or they’d show the Queen driving a car and I’d think “the Queen drives?” And so I’d ask Robin, “does the Queen really drive?” (Ask her, she’ll tell you I’m not exaggerating, I really did ask a lot of really basic questions.) Then there was Prince Philip … I asked “what exactly is his job?” and Robin seemed to assume I was a really stupid person, not without reason, because she answered by explaining why he was Prince and not King, and what his duties were, and the like, but I knew all of that, what I really wanted to know was, what exactly does this person do with his life to make him more worthwhile than a fucking fly on any random dog turd? And I still don’t know the answer to that question.

You see, I am not neutral about royalty. Most of the time I don’t think about the concept of royalty, and I probably should think about it more, work through my anger, but when I’m confronted with it, as I was while watching The Queen, I’m not thinking “nice camera angle” or “v.effective use of montage.” I’m thinking “fuck these people.”

If there was ever someone I was less interested in than royalty, though, it was the “People’s Princess,” Diana. Honest, in her case it was less “fuck her” than “who gives a fuck about her?” To be reminded, as I was while watching The Queen, about how popular Diana was, just about made me puke. I mean, you’ve got royalty, who are known for nothing other than being royalty. Then you’ve got Diana, who was known for nothing other than marrying someone who was known for nothing useful … and I’m supposed to care that she died in a speeding car with her rich-ass boyfriend?

But I admit, all of this is just me with a hair up my butt, which is why I can’t really evaluate The Queen. I can’t stand the monarchy, I can’t stand that people put up with having a monarchy, I can’t stand Diana, I can’t stand that people cared about Diana … so it’s pretty certain I won’t much like The Queen. Even the film’s most touching moment was ruined by my prejudices. When the Queen finally meets the people, and one girl gives her flowers, and Mirren plays it just right, you see a flicker of emotion that says volumes about what she has suppressed her entire life … even I, who hates touching moments with a passion, had a tear in my eye. But then the Queen continues walking past the people, and they have forgiven her … one by one, they curtsey, and right about then I wanted to rip my eyes out of their socket.

Comments

[Kim Dot Dammit]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For also publicly admitting that you could give a fuck about Princess Fucking DIE. I didn't tear up at all during that final scene with the queen. I was outraged by it and by its intention to rehumanize the queen and to show us all how grateful we should be that she's still in power. What a bunch of FUCKED UP SHIT. Here's my little whatever on the movie: http://kdotdammit.livejournal.com/878722.html

[Pica]

"...what exactly does this person do with his life to make him more worthwhile than a fucking fly on any random dog turd?"

Um, nothing. That's the point. His entire life, at least since 1952, has been spent walking precisely three steps behind his wife. No wonder he's such a git.

Being half Brit and kind of growing up around all this stuff, I do have to let you know that not everyone in England behaved (or thought) like those hystericals outside Buckingham Palace. (My father, who was from Lancashire, told me when I was small that all queens did was sit around and look beautiful.) A friend came to visit us from London a few days after diana was killed, had been at a conference in Houston where people (Americans) would randomly come up to him and express their condolences. He was completely bemused.

I did see the film and thought, like you, that Mirren was extraordinery, more so than usual, because I completely lost her. Mirren the actress. She WAS the queen.