Let's make this quick. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is as bloated as its title. It's an hour longer than it needs to be, it substitutes explosions and endless stupid sword fights for actual entertainment, and without Johnny Depp is simply wouldn't be worth sitting through. (It was fun to see Gareth from The Office as a zombie pirate, though.) Depp treats the movie the way Laurence Olivier used to treat potboilers, as an excuse to have some fun with acting, and the fun is contagious ... Depp is a delight to watch, the only thing that keeps you from falling asleep. He deserves his Oscar nomination. The other four noms (makeup, sound, sound editing, and visual effects) are the kind of thing you give crap like this to reward the technicians who worked so hard. Five on a scale of ten.