real women have curves
james bond

die another day

Ok, as the family knows, Karen is in Spain for 10 days, and this is one of the ways I am very much like my brother Steven: when our partner is away, we don't know what to do with ourselves! So, my friends have been taking me to movies to occupy my time. The latest? Die Another Day, the new James Bond movie. I have a friend I go to see "action" films with, because of course Karen is really not interested. Can't say as I blame her, and sometimes I even scratch my head that I'm interested in James Bond movies, but I've seen quite a few, and I'm a Pierce Brosnan fan from his days as Remington Steele, so I've seen all of his Bond movies. I'm not a Bond expert... probably shouldn't even attempt to review this film in the long line of Bond movies... so instead, I'll use this review to talk about Halle Barry.

You call that acting?!!

Oh my god, she is really bad in this film, and I can't imagine why anyone would consider her for future films as the female James Bond. First of all, she weighs all of about 100 pounds, and that woman has absolutely no muscle definition whatsoever (first I wrote "no muscle," but I'm sure she has some in there somewhere). I didn't believe for one minute she had the strength to do any of the stunts she pulls in this movie, including giving a right hook to anyone that would do any thing but tickle someone's face. In one scene, she does a Michelle Yeoh-like back-flip from her feet (now Michelle Yeoh could be a future female James Bond), and when she flips to avoid being kicked, the double being used for Berry does have muscles, and they are obvious, and it's impossible to suspend belief that the double is even close to resembling Berry. Furthermore, why she is featured on the poster is beyond me (ok, never mind... I know why she is on the poster). However, she only has about 10 lines. Madonna appears in a non-credited cameo, and Madonna has nearly as many lines in one scene as Berry has in the entire film. And Madonna has muscles!

Ok, I've never really had an opinion of Berry before.... glad for her she won the Oscar last year, and I'm sure she has some talent. But she doesn't display it in this movie. Overall, I give the film a 6 out of 10; for comparison, I gave Crouching Tiger a 10 and the Michelle Yeoh Bond flick, Tomorrow Never Dies, an 8 out of 10.

(posted by Chris Rubio)