My copy of MC Hawking's Greatest Hits arrived today. This is a classic, and easy to describe, although until you've heard it yourself you won't actually believe it is what it is. A guy named Ken Leavitt-Lawrence created an album that is supposed to be an anthology of rap songs by Stephen Hawking in his rap-guise as MC Hawking. The accomplished MC raps his rhymes through his speech synthesizer. The liner notes include a fascinating biography of MC Hawking:
Stephen had found a new passion to rival theoretical astrophysics: gangsta rap. MC Hawking was born. As in all things previous to this point, Stephen refused to allow his disease to get in the way of his ambition.... crank up the bass and get ready to experience the hardest mutha-fucka ever to come out of theoretical astrophysics.
Mixed in with originals are the MC's versions of Naughty By Nature ("Entropy," with the chorus "You down with entropy? Yeah, you know me!") and the Sex Pistols ("UFT for the MC" begins "I am a scientist! I am a physicist! I know what I want, and I know how to get it, I want to unlock the universe. Yes I want a unified field theory!"). Then there's "Bitchslap," where the professor goes postal on a recalcitrant TA:
He'll get a bitchslap, oh snap!
Punk motherfucker ain't worth a cap,
in his ass-flap, true dat!
How'd I ever get a bitch TA like that?
Hawking gets back at his TA, who doesn't bring him the right kind of coffee because he thinks Hawking can't get physical on him, by inventing a robot arm that punches real hard ("the Hawk rocks inventing: fuck MacGyver!"). The lesson is understood:
My other TA's who'd been grinning when he spoke,
got a serious expression on their faces so,
I just rolled real slow on up to the lectern,
the lesson today, the Hawk can wreck your
whole shit, so don't test
or I'll put you on the list to get the bitchslap next!
Among the other greatest hits are "Fuck the Creationists" and "All My Shootings Be Drivebys." This album is a must-have!
Recent Comments